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[quote=Anonymous]You're on your own, OP.  That's what is so sad.  I'm an only child with an 82-yo mother.  She is a narcissist down to the core. So dealing with her only causes more and more resentment.

I agree with the PP above - that you need to find your own space or you'll go mad.  The chances of your mother falling down and being "forgotten," while it does happen, are slim. You need to care for yourself first.

My narc mom kept my ailing father at home b/c it would have looked bad to the family had she sent him to a home.  She complained and complained and "dutifully" looked after him even though he had two round-the-clock caregivers. She was an insufferable martyr who guilted me daily to visit even though I had young children at the time.

I had to finally cut her off. She has a house that's paid for, and she manages to still take care of it.  If she has one more fall, however (broken hip a few years ago), I'm not sure she'll recover from it. But I gave her many choice to move in with us or to find a small condo up our way.  She refused b/c narcs have to be in control.

OP - If you become ill, you're no good to your family.  Keep yourself sane by outsourcing.  
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