Reply to Husband’s female coworker bought him a bottle of scotch, she won’t talk to me

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Reply to "Husband’s female coworker bought him a bottle of scotch, she won’t talk to me"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What was the weekend event you invited her to? I am a female in a male dominated field.

When I go to business dinners, I am going to be nice to the wives but I am really there to network with the men - I.e. my peers. If my colleague’s wife invited me to a social event I would feel weird about it. I socialize with coworkers outside of work sometimes or as couples, but not as a third wheel. [/quote]

Op here. I totally agree and not thinking twice on this. I did offer just to be nice but also totally understand. No big deal. I guess I am just keeping an eye open since the bottle of liquor was gifted to him and no one else, ya know what I mean? [/quote]

Not really. If I gifted your husband / my colleague scotch it would not be romantic. It would be an indication that I am also into scotch and I am trying to curry favor and signal I’m one of the guys and not to leave me out when they go to happy hour. I’ve been struggling with how to articulate how your weekend invite would make me feel. I married in my late 30s. If I was unmarried and you were married with kids and the invite to hang out on the weekend cane frkn you, the wife, not mh colleague I would have felt patronized or belittled - like you think I’m a kid who needs someone to take me under their wing. Or that I’m pathetic or lonely because I’m single so I must have nothing to do. I look younger than my age, so I spent a lot of my career in my 30s proving I had the talent and experience to hold my own with guys older than me. Something about the way you describe your husband’s female colleague and the invite rubs me the wrong way. In 18 years in my field I have never had an invite, call or text from a wife of a colleague who was not also in our Industry. [/quote]

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