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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How did you get past the fact that they cheated?[/quote]

You never really get past that fact but you arrive at a place where it just doesn't seem like this huge very important thing any more.

I stayed because I saw clearly what my life would be like post divorce, and I decided I don't want that. I don't want to half the assets or time with the kids; I also didn't want to give up help with the kids while they are with me - we have three young ones, and it is quite simply easier with four hands than two.

Life is long and we are all flawed imperfect people.  It helps that I am genuinely fond of my husband but I think that this experience made me take him less seriously. [/quote]

This resonates with me.  My DH cheated and fell in love with the AP, but we both continue to work on our marriage. I care for him and we share a very good partnership and beautiful family.  I could divorce and avail myself to a man better suited to me in some ways, but in the end I keep coming back to the priority I place on raising my kids with relative ease and support and sparing kids the pain of divorce.  It's pretty evenly split for me, so I err on the side of staying together.  That, and I also don't want to deal with the annoying AP in my life and as stepparent to my young sons.  Willing to give it another year, keep myself happy, enjoy having full time access to my kids and husband, and re-evaluate in the future.  [/quote]

but how can you share a bed with someone knowing fully they love someone else. and either they are still in love with someone else, or they are heartbroken that they cant be the one person they love? [/quote]

This is what gets me.  Life is too short to be in this kind of relationship - it will eventually catch up to you mentally and emotionally.  Some people to choose to live that existence for whatever reason (their kids, they're religious so they don't believe in divorce, money, etc.) but for many, freedom from this kind of relationship is more fulfilling (even if it means the severing of the family unit).[/quote]

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