Reply to which is worse in terms if mean girl behavior: middle school or high school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We have found that the pointed mean-girl behavior was worse in middle school, but the cliquishness is worse in high school.  My 9th grader was planning a birthday brunch for herself last year and ended up scrapping the whole thing because of the complicated social rules ("If I invite this girl, I have to invite her whole group, but I'm not part of that group so it would be presumptuous." and on and on.)

I think the cliques have become so much stronger than when I was in school because there boundaries (and changes to the boundaries) are so well defined.  If you're in the group, then you're in the group chat (etc.) and if you have been expelled from the group, they remove you from the group chat...[/quote]

This is our experience. My dd had a best friend plus a larger group of 4 good friends from elementary through 9th. They did everything together. By 10th grade everyone had scattered but the best friend. In 11th, best friend befriended a “cool” girl, and now spends all her time trying to weasel her way into parties and other groups. Dd isn’t interested in social climbing, so has been making new friends.

Just wait until the homecoming and prom. 
Girls often fish for dates that are in a cooler crowd or ditch their real friends so they can be in pics with a better known crowd. Some even choose by which country club they can tag in their pics. Kids often end up going with a a crowd that would never hang out with them under normal conditions.

I can’t wait to get my kids out of high school. It’s so hard to convince teens that by the time they’re 20, nobody cares who hung out with who in high school. 
[/quote]

We've had the same experience with our daughter as well.  In some ways high school has been more complicated and worse socially.[/quote]

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