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[quote=Anonymous]The best thing for you to do is STAY OUT OF IT. Here's my outsider's objective perspective - there's blame on both sides. It's really, really crappy to pay for one kid's college but not the other. Counting on a kid getting an academic scholarship to college is a terrible plan. It is understandable that your sister is resentful about that. That's on your parents.

That said, circumstances change, your parents don't have the money, and your sister now needs to grow up and realize that life isn't fair. Lashing out is not the way an adult deals with disappointment, and she's saying horrible things to your parents. That's on your sister.

So, basically, there's blame to go around. Frankly, I think your sister's behavior is pretty bad, but, she's not posting here asking for advice. You are, and, simply put, you have no standing to intervene here. Surely you can understand that anything you say to her will fall on deaf ears - after all, you're the one who had college paid for. There is absolutely no chance that anything you say or do will improve this situation, so just stay out of it.

If you are incapable of biting your tongue, the most I'd say to sister is this - "I understand how unfair this is to you and I know mom and dad wish they had planned better and could help you out. That said, it is what it is. They don't have the money, that's not going to change, so the only person with any ability to act here is you. You need to decide what you want to do with the reality that you are faced with."

Definitely don't point out the opportunities she threw away - she was a teenager. I don't disagree with you, but it's not entirely fair to hold her to the same level of foresight that you would expect an adult to have. She is hardly the first 15/16 year old to prioritize partying over school, and doesn't need that thrown back in her face now. Again, planning to finance your kid's college via scholarship is not smart.

At this point, obviously, your sister is the only one who can change their behavior, but that's understandably a bitter pill to swallow.

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