Reply to Having Kids at 38?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Having Kids at 38?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My husband and I made a decision not to have kids, but both been having a change of heart recently. We look at family/friends who are happy parenting, and wonder if we will regret not being parents. We still are not fully on board, and support the reasons we chose to remain childless - better off financially, putting focus on our relationship, being solely responsible for another human life, etc. We have a solid marriage, financially secure, and great family. The biggest drawback that has us unsure is I’m turning 38 soon and he’s 40. We would need to try right away. We have had lengthy conversations about this, and feel if we don’t conceive naturally, we will take it for what it is. We don’t want any medical interventions. The other downside is this will likely be an only child, and feel bad we won’t be able to give that child a sibiling. We don’t have any reasons besides potential regret to have a child, and wonder if that is enough to warrant trying. I know ofher can’t make this decision for us, but we would love to hear positive/negative stories from people in similar situations. [/quote]

I was in a similar situation.  I never wanted kids (had a bad childhood) until my nephew was born and I just fell in love.    But I didn't even meet my husband until I was 37.   Got married at 38, said we'd try for a year.  If nothing happened, it didn't happen.  So be it.  But I was immediately pregnant.  Delivered at 39.   I only have the one child.   But it was just the absolutely best decision I ever made.

It's hard, though.   Being a parent, no matter the age, is hard and selfless work.   To me it's much easier to do that hard and selfless work because I love my kid so much.   For example, vacations won't be true vacations for several years.   They will just be "trips to other places" where you still have to do hard work.  But then things get easier.

I like having more money than I otherwise would have, if I had had my child in my 20s.    I don't feel much of an energy drain, but I do keep myself in good shape.

I would pay attention to finances.   And make sure things like emergency savings and retirement are in place.   My husband just had a significant injury, and while he has recovered, he could have easily been permanently disabled.   So you are sandwiching a bit between kid expenses and expenses associated with your own aging.

I wouldn't change a thing, though. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics