Reply to DH not pulling his weight

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[quote=Anonymous][quote]OP here--your life sounds like my life. However, my husband expects me to keep track of everyone's birthdays and anniversaries on his side of the family. I did it last year, but buying gift cards for his twelve nephews/nieces was exhausting. He also wanted me to get cards for his mother and father's birthdays, anniversaries, and to cover mother/father's day. He claims he always forgets. This year, I bought a generic packs of Birthday cards from Home Goods in advance, gave it to him, and told him my job is done.

Unfortunately, we have to commute together as we live 60 miles out from DC....sigh! I will leave his a** behind this week guaranteed and grab a kid with me...he can drive the other one. I did it once already and he twiddled around the house for 30 more minutes and called me asking if I packed the bottles. They were literally next to DS sleeping in his car seat on the kitchen island. [/quote]

1) why do you live so far? This is incredibly stressful for anyone. Is a move a possibility?

2) you are still enabling--if you buy the cards, you are enabling. If you leave one kid behind you are enabling him to get to work in the HOV lane. Stop enabling. Just stop doing. You dont have to make a big deal out of it, or make a huge point, just stop doing. If he's not ready and up in the morning, dont get him up, or help him out. Leave with the kids when you need to leave. You are not responsible for him--you have enough on your plate.

3) adhd? DH has it, though he wont medicate for it. It was better when he was on medication, but he also hasn't done any of the stuff that you're supposed to do as well (create organizational spaces, habits, work with a coach, etc). no matter what, he will lose his keys, wallet and phone and look for them. For 10 years i've suggested a place for them, right by the front door I created a key/wallet/phone bowl. But as they say, you can lead a horse to water....[/quote]

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