Reply to Aren't families supposed to be your ride or die?

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[quote=Anonymous]My DH and his mom had an unhealthy relationship, and it all stems from her making her son her "little husband" as his therapist calls it.  It is apparently a thing she did where she replaced her husband with her son (not sexually but creepy boarderline). Even though he was 12+, she wanted to go on weekly mom-son dates with excessive touching he's said (yes she called them dates and the touching wasn't normal), served as her date to all social occasions (including non-kid friendly events where she brought him anyway like office holiday parties where family wasn't invited...), made him sleep in bed with her and snuggle/spoon in bed with him all night, liked to give him baths as a time to talk, wanted to hold hands in public even when he requested not to, lip kissing, and other stuff that is just creepy.  He was 12 when his parents divorced her behavior wasn't normal for a mom-male teen in American in the 90s.  She had a breakdown when he left for college as she claimed her son had abandoned her (institutionalized for a bit), and as such his father realized what had been going on and got his son (my DH) mental health help.  My FIL wishes he had known what was happening earlier and would have gotten him out, but because of shame my DH just took all the craziness.

My DH had to set boundaries with the help of his therapist.  My MIL's family thinks he is a terrible son as they have not been told the truth of what had been going on.  My MIL refuses to talk to me as the few times I've seen her she's claimed I stole her man (we met when he was 27 and had long since been in therapy).  He sees her every 2-3 years on neutral grounds - aka outside her or our home - for the day as he still loves his mother.  His family doesn't want us invited to anything as we're terrible and they blame him and me for everything.

So yeah, just because she birthed him doesn't make us ride or die.

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