Reply to How much to give for “wedding bbq”?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Doesn’t matter if you weren’t invited to the small family/close friends ceremony. You were invited to post bbq...skip registry give $100 if you are able. If not, gift card to the joke registry and let them pick. [/quote]

Uh it absolutely does matter, if you create a second tier event for a “wedding” you are rude[/quote]

So you’d base your gift or no gift on how a couple chooses to legally marry ? What if they decided to do a civil ceremony or elope? You wouldn’t give a gift for a post celebration because you weren’t invited to the legal portion of their marriage? That is rude. A gift is given at shower and at whatever wedding celebration they have. It’s called proper etiquette. [/quote]

Holy crap, yes

You elope you have forgone my gift, you didn’t want to have the whole big wedding thing, that’s the end of that [/quote]

We eloped, sent 120 vintage maps with a big red x on the spot in Italy, (Outside) “We are here”, (inside) “We were married”, with save the date for post celebration. Included with details was, “The Only Gift is a Portion of Thyself”. Received gifts anyway...monetary gifts, sentimental/personal gifts, beautiful books of Italy, Italian recipe books, spiritual gifts, donations in our name and some just a simple card with handwritten note wishing us well and that they respected our wishes of no gifts and let’s have dinner soon. The best gift was a full Cutco flatware set in a gorgeous wood box with plaque, “Just because we weren’t there, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen”. This says it all! They were not there, but they celebrated our choice with acknowledgement and a very personal and unique gift. It’s on display in our kitchen and 17 years later, remains a conversation piece when we have company. How we chose to be married was an event for everyone post celebration, we had a short video viewing of bits of ceremony, getting into a dingy in my wedding dress to reach private island, our witnesses Francesco, Francesca, Roberto (prime ministers secretary lol), Roberto (priest who left church to marry Francesca). Was absolutely hilarious! Our guests had such a carefree and fun time in a NYC loft overlooking Twin Towers, 2 months before 9-11 :( Still so bittersweet for all of us and we talk about it often. [/quote]

This is AMAZING and very similar to what I am planning! Won't be expecting gifts, but I am sure gifts will be sent. I've given generous gifts to all of our friends who have had more traditional weddings and they're happy for us whatever kind of making it official we choose to do. I don't have friends who base their gifting off of whether or not they get a rubbery piece of chicken at a sit down meal. Ha. [/quote]

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