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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is sad. He convinced you his cheating was your fault.  All abusers blame their victim. "She made me do it" is a common theme. Police and judges hear it all the time. If you've gone to a good counselor they will tell you cheating is abuse.

You need to get to the point where you acknowledge he never loved you. Someone that loves you doesn't do these things, and will likely cheat on the next woman. Be happy you will be out of a "fake" marriage, and can concentrate on your own mental heath. It will get better.

I know you have kids, but I would get him out of my life except minimal texts concerning the kids. This is a guy who thinks you'll be a doormat during the divorce, and after. Don't be that person, and see a good lawyer.[/quote]

He’s not an abuser.

Neglecting your spouse could theoretically be abuse. OP is not an angel here so stop acting like it. All you can do is live and learn and do better in your next relationship. Take note, people. [/quote]

Plus one, and this sisterhood of "you are blameless, he is an abuser" is useless blather.  The "CHEATERS ARE EVILS ABUSERS" crowd would rename JFK airport and rescind MLK day because whatever good either did cannot be allowed to stand because CHEATER!

OP is much more introspective than her cheerleaders give her credit for.   Hopefully she will take heed to the advice that it takes two to repair a marriage and she doesn't have a willing partner.  She would be best to look into her legal rights and move forward, not try to recreate and relitigate the past.[/quote]

Exactly. If you just shut your mouth he wouldn't need to smack you either.

People act like Ike turner didn't do great things.[/quote]

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