Reply to At a Conference-- How Do I Get This Hound of a Married Guy to Back Off

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Reply to "At a Conference-- How Do I Get This Hound of a Married Guy to Back Off"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just to be clear... I'm not gonna sleep with you. So let's get a drink.

Works every time, they lay off but feel like a puss if they don't have a drink with you.

[/quote]
Right...because it’s her job to manage his feelings. That’s exactly she should be spending her time. 
  :roll: [/quote]

This is not managing his feeling.

This is called being clear with your intentions.

Hey I'm not sleeping with you, but lets get a drink and talk business. If you say "hey im not sleeping with you" you lose a client. If you say, hey im not sleeping with you let's get a drink, he knows you are not putting up with shit but you still intent to conduct business.

"when I say drink with you" I acutally mean have drink and talk business like men do all the time.

Do you even work?[/quote]

Do you even work? Who in their right mind says “Hey I’m not going to sleep with you...” to a work colleague? Totally inappropriate. He may be trying to monopolize her time or her in her pants but until he makes a move that is not acceptable to say. You need to brush up on your nuance, tact and social skills.

[/quote]

Unfortunately women have to say it all the time. I am just up front with men that are trying to sleep with me. Not interested, it the most appropriate response. Actually, HR will not ever listen to you if you have not made it clear that advances are not welcome.

[b]BTW honey, you might think you are soooo interesting [/b]that a married man is monopolizing your time at a conference, your not, he has something else in mind. [/quote]

I don't see anything that makes me think OP believes she is sooo interesting. As a woman who has dealt with this before, it feels like being harassed, nothing to do with having a big head and thinking you're amazing. It's a super sh*tty feeling and when work is involved, even more complicated because you don't want to be professionally impacted by not being "nice." Unless your a whackjob, this kind of attention doesn't make you feel good. It's made me feel vulnerable, frustrated, and angry that I had to deal with this crap instead of focusing on networking and business. You must be one of these guys who thinks women should be flattered because when they're catcalled. Gross. [/quote]

Op here, I covered me knowing what he’s up to in my first post! I’m under no illusion that I am interesting. What’s pissing me off is that he seems to be intentionally hovering when other males are nearby to give an appearance of something that is not. Day 2 of the conference is tomorrow, being flat out rude is on my agenda.[/quote]

It's the only way to deal with men like this. You have to just be abrupt, but then say, he but we can work together. The thing is guys do this to multiple women and they will just move on to their next victim. Unless hsi is Havey Weistein there is usually no backlash from just saying, not interested in a assertive way. [/quote]

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