Reply to Best Guy Friend, His New GF, and Vacation

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you tell him she can’t come it will immediately look like you’re trying to f^%* him. Say goodbye to your friendship. [/quote]

This is what I was thinking too, she hasn't met you and doesn't know the dynamic so if you say no she'll feel even more threatened. I think inviting her along is a good chance to show here there's nothing to worry about.... But the real question is if he's that good of a friend and you really have no interest, why don't you want to get to know his girlfriend? To be honest you don't sound happy that he has a gf, so you should examine your true feelings. In my single days when I would hang out with my couple friends I rarely felt like a 3rd wheel, so don't go into it with those expectations[/quote]

OP here. There would be way too much to unpack here about why I have no interested in screwing or dating my friend, but you'll have to trust me when I say that I don't. And won't. Ever.  If we wanted to do that, we would have done it sometime in the last four years.

I'm happy that he's met someone, because he's more than slightly co-dependent and has been super, super depressed about being single last several years. Happy guy friend is way more fun than sad, depressed guy friend. I'm also happy to get to know her, if for no other reason than I want her to be comfortable with us being friends. It would be an extra awesome bonus is she's awesome and I can make a new friend out of it.

I guess the concern is I don't want to have to get to know her on a week-long vacation, and I think that seems fair. She doesn't live here...she lives an hour and a half flight away and they are long distance. There isn't really a chance for me to get to know here. She is visiting this week and I think we are planning to get HH all together before she leaves, but that would be the only chance I have to meet her before this trip would happen.

Sigh. It seems there really is no good solution now that he's put this out there. I'm really not a big solo travel person, but seems like unless I want to miss out on this trip, I may have to become one. Definitely not what I was envisioning for this adventure. [/quote]

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