Reply to Walk me through the logistics of setting up your new life if you divorced while your kid was a baby.

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Reply to "Walk me through the logistics of setting up your new life if you divorced while your kid was a baby."

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My marriage is hanging by a thread and I'm terrified thinking about how I could survive as a single parent. Our child is 10 months and goes to daycare part-time. I work part-time. We own a modest home in a nice neighborhood but we are not wealthy. My husband is very difficult, but a devoted and hands-on father and does a lot of the housework. I understand that I'll need to go back to full-time work (I can keep my job and increase my hours), and I'm fairly certain day care can accommodate us five days/week. [u]But I don't know how we could afford a split or make it work logistically. The baby is increasingly mobile and on the cusp of walking, and needs a lot of attention. How would I even get dressed in the morning? Do we sell our large apartment and both rent smaller ones? Do we try to rent apartments in the same building?[/u]

[b]This feels so selfish and foolish. [/b] But we fight so much - probably 90% instigated by my husband - and it's not an emotionally healthy environment for the baby. I don't think we can fix this, and I don't want my child growing up thinking this is normal. (That is how my husband came to be the way he is.)

So if you've been through this, what are the first, say, 10 steps to setting up a manageable single-parent life?[/quote]

I can't help but hone in one the bolded - it is NOT selfish or foolish to want to be treated like a human being. Ever.

As for making a split WORK (after dealing with lawyers), you just do. My son was 10mo when I split with my ex (and already walking, stubborn kid), and I just had to make it work. Sometimes he sat in his pack n play and cried while I took a shower, usually he played with toys. He sometimes had to hang out in there while I cooked (hot ovens and babies are a bad mix). Initially we lived about 2 miles from his dad, cause that's the apartment I could afford, and then about 2 years after the split I moved a few hundred miles away (with kid, I had sole custody after the first fight, and I still have that - dad does get a significant amount of visitation. There are reasons for this for the mom-haters on this board, I'm not going into them), and I still have custody.

I'm dating now, but it took a LONG time to get to the point I was ready to date. The man I'm seeing right now is probably the man I will marry - he is completely wonderful and the opposite of my child's father (who was abusive). [/quote]

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