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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  I don't have a career either, so it's not like I can justify why I waited because of career.  I'm 41 and I make $20/hour working part-time in a "hobby job."  Fortunately we do not need my salary (DH is in a high powered career) so financial wise it doesn't matter that I make only $20/hour but it matters to me/feeling like I never lived up to my potential either career-wise or family-wise.  Though family-wise was completely not in my control other than the fact that I waited too long to get pregnant the first time.

I wish I had primary infertility instead of secondary, because if I had had primary I would have done IVF and had a few embryos to freeze, and could have done a FET for a sibling.  Instead I got pregnant on the first try and then could not get pregnant a second time over the span of 5 years.  [/quote]

Oh honey. You are being really, really hard on yourself. This stuff about potential with career and family -- something deep down is bothering you about how you live your life. You can change your work, you can explore what you want for your family. But it sounds like you need to stop beating yourself up first. We have all been there. The infertility, you can't control and it sucks. Really sucks. How you feel about yourself, your deep feelings of inadequacy and anxiety -- that I think you can change. I'm sorry, I know this is a really hard time and maybe not one in which you want to be told, do more work! That's ok. But I think some of this guilt might lessen if you let go of the feeling that you did something wrong and something is wrong with you. Find the things in your life that make you feel good and connected, and see if doing more of that gets you in a place where you see what is needed here.[/quote]

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