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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Passive aggressive. I'd call her bluff. Don't make any plans, and when she complains, get your DH to be confused and say, "oh, you said that you didn't want to see them for the rest of the summer so we made plans without you. Maybe next summer we can do things more often, if you'd like that." [/quote] Don't say this. It's mean and pointless. [/quote] +1. Mil never said any such thing. [/quote] She said that she wouldn't be seeing them for the rest of the summer. So I guess it should be "you said you wouldn't be seeing them for the rest of the summer so we made plans without you." She will learn not to make those remarks in future if she doesn't want you to take them seriously.[/quote] Ugh. I can't imagine every treating my spouse's parent this way. If you can't communicate well with your in-laws, leave the communication to your spouse. Responding to passive aggressive comments with passive aggressive responses makes you just as much as a jerk as the person you are responding to. Just because she was rude doesn't make it right to be rude back to her. [/quote] Telling your spouse to "act confused" and then respond in a way that's just as passive aggressive as the MIL makes you a jerk. No, I'm not saying let the MIL have her way or give in to her behavior. I'm saying don't react to her this way because it's mean and doesn't get your point across anyway so it won't change her future behavior in a positive way. It would be better to say (or have your husband say) I'm sorry you feel that way. We certainly don't intend to keep you from seeing the kids. But it is hurtful to us when you make it sound like you are blaming us for not letting you see the kids when we did no such thing. Unfortunately, with their camps and your vacation it just didn't work out to see you more this summer. If you'd like to plan another visit, please just say so clearly and we'll be happy to try and do that. But please don't make remarks that make it seem like it's our intention to not spend time with you because that is unkind.[/quote] Ugh. Talk about condescending. What is she, 3? I don't even talk to my 4 year old that way.[/quote] Is your 4 year old passive aggressive? What do you suggest? Being rude and passive aggressive back to MIL?[/quote]
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