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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Best you can do is not tell your kids, teach them now about handling money responsibly (3 buckets etc), giving generously to charity (if that's your mindset), helping others, nothing is guaranteed in life etc.  Work hard always. Drugs are dangerous.

Also don't get too invested in your kids getting the money. As others here have noted, [b]people change their minds all the time about inheritance and can even be manipulated out of it on their deathbed[/b] - we've seen it happen twice to friends.[/quote]

This is so true! I posted at 8:11, and this happened in our family too. The source of the $50M was my dad's uncle (let's call him Great Uncle) who never had children. It was always understood that the money would be split amongst his nieces and nephews. After his death, Great Uncle's brother, an unscrupulous attorney and all around rotten human being, produced a will signed on GU's deathbed that left everything to GU's brother and GU's brother's kids. It was largely considered to either be a forgery or a hard press on his deathbed, but no one contested it.

So GU's brother manipulated his own kids their whole lives, and his son was a layabout who never had a real job. His son's daughters also never learned responsibility, and they never entered into careers. Then the son dies, his widow takes up with a gold digger, and stops supporting her own daughters at gold digger's request. She manipulates her daughters and their leeching husbands, and doles out just enough money to keep them begging for more. It's so disgusting.

Meanwhile, my dad never looked back and continued supporting his family. I never even heard about this from him, only other relatives. My siblings and I never had any expectations of an inheritance, and we all have productive careers and are self supporting. I feel bad for my sousins, the three layabout females. Sure, some money would be nice, but I wouldn't trade lives with them for anything.

OP, please stop playing your role in this dynamic and just ignore it. Move on with your life, and if it happens it happens, but don't twist and turn to try to stay in the running. It's a sure path to misery. Good luck and take care.[/quote]

This is basically the dynamic in my family too - especially on my fathers side. I had done exactly what you say - steered clear, got a good education and job and created my own family. All was fine until I had kids. I didn’t even want aunt to know about them. I didn’t even tell my mother when I was pregnant because I knew she would tell aunt and would not respect my wishes that aunt not be told. Well someone else told both of them. And since then aunt has been back in my life - promising money, telling me I don’t know how to take care of my kids, that I can’t provide for them without her money and on and on. So I guess the hand wringing as someone asked is all anger related to this and worry about my kids inheriting responsibly. I literally sit here sometimes and don’t know how I got dragged back into this after a decade plus of not being involved at all.[/quote]

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