Reply to How to ask my 14 yo DD if she's gay

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Geez you people are paranoid.  Just ask if she freaks out "OH MY GOD MOM HOW COULD YOU!!" - just say sorry and explain why you were wondering.  I'm sure you kid will appreciate seeing mom do/say something stupid every once in a while it shows you're human and not some parent-bot that never errs and only gives orders.[/quote]

Do NOT follow this advice.  If you pry into this aspect of her life before she is ready, it may actually make her lie to you and then not trust herself around you and close herself off from the close relationship that you have.  Kids nowadays have a lot less pressure in discussing and analyzing their own sexuality than children 20 or 30 years ago, but there is still a stigma (albeit less than before) about being gay and there is still and uncertainty about "coming out" until the individual can be prepared for whatever reaction and response they may get.  It takes some kids longer to come to terms with this aspect of their individuality and to be ready to discuss this with anyone, especially a parent.

Make sure that you present a warm and welcoming environment.  You did well when you responded to her announcement about gay pride month.  Yes, it may be the first overture trying to find out how receptive you are to homosexuality.  When she discusses gay topics, make sure to engage, not only basic responses, but continue the discussion.  When she discusses a gay public figure, ask what other information she knows about the individual, whether she is interested in what they do or just the public image of the individual (e.g. "Oh, Jane Doe is gay?  Do you like her movies?  Has she been in the news lately?  What for?  Oh, she's been speaking about gay marriage?  Interesting.  What has she been saying?" and so on).  If she is telling you information about gay topics, she's trying to gauge your comfort level.  Show her that you are comfortable talking about whatever she introduces.  Once she knows that you are comfortable with the gay topics that she introduces, she will then be able to feel comfortable talking to you about her own sexuality because she knows you are open and accepting of the topics.

Then, just wait for her to broach the topic.  Be open and accepting, but don't pry.[/quote]

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