Reply to How do you tell your 7 and 9 year olds their dad is an alcoholic?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I am a sober mom and just want to say I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  At some point you may want to check out Al Anon if you haven’t already but I want to stress that Al Anon is not a professional group as a PP implied.  You may meet someone there who has had similar experiences, in fact I’m sure you would, but it’s not the place to go for a professional opinion on how to handle.

My kids are 10 and 7, I’ve been sober for 15+ years so they’ve never seen me drunk.  They do not know the term “alcoholic” or “addict” so I don’t use that to describe myself to them.  I do tell them that I can’t drink safely and part of how I learned that was because I made poor choices when drinking.  They know that I go to meetings but they don’t really know what they are or what they’re about.  But I am very honest when they ask me questions, to an age-appropriate point.

I don’t think it is bad or dishonest or wrong to say your DH is sick.  We have had to explain mental illness and dementia and addiction to our kids w/r/t other family members and usually I say something along the lines of “some people have a brain illness called ____.”  I am matter of fact and try to use accurate terminology, also within age appropriate limits.  I also think, like other PPs, that these things are less scary and confusing when we as parents tell the truth.

I hope you and your family get all of the support you need and wish you the best.  [/quote]

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