Reply to Help me navigate this type of argument or response with my DH

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My DH is a lot like you, and honestly, it's exhausting. Nobody likes dealing with someone who micromanages, leads from the back, or is a hypocrite. It's not fair to hold him to a higher standard than you hold yourself.

For the lights and budget issues, say that WE need to figure out a solution together, rather than placing it all on him. Saying "you need to do XYZ!" is treating him like a child. Try "hey hon, our electric bill was $XXX last month. I'm going to start turning off lights more, do you have any thoughts on what we can do?" and "we went over our budget by $XXX, let's sit down this weekend and look it over to figure out where we can cut spending".

Ease up on the micromanaging with things like mugs, especially since you also leave clutter out. It's really not fair to make excuses for yourself like "it's contained". Come on, you know that's just a lame excuse.

The micromanaging of social interactions is also annoying. My DH does the same thing. Every time we come home from the social event, he wants to hold a debriefing of everything I said and did wrong. At this point, I just don't go out with him anymore because it's not worth the hassle.

Just ease up on the guy. Decide if the issue is really worth a discussion. And stop telling him he NEEDS to do something, that shows a complete lack of respect and sets up a parent/child dynamic. 
[/quote]

This is excellent advice - convey it as “we need to” rather than “can you NOT xyz?”[/quote]

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