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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op.  Yes, I have a great relationship with my sister.  She can be insensitive but mostly also vents about our parents.

I spoke with DH about getting some more space (not cutting off but not inviting to vacations and family events anymore and putting myself out there).  He's very against it and makes good points -- family is family, they are our kids' grandparents, and he's brushing them off so I shouldn't be hypertensive.  He also pointed out that it's been like this for years, which is true. I wish he was more supportive of my feelings but I also think my feelings cannot trump his feelings.  If he's fine with it, then I'm being silly.  I just wish it didn't hurt. I feel ridiculous.[/quote]

[b]You are NOT ridiculous.[/b]  I don't know about you, but I am the one responsible for most communications with my parents. I am in your sister's boat where my parents don't approve of my sister's husband for racial reasons so they disowned her.  My DH didn't want my kids to not have a relationship with their grandparents/cut them off too, so I just keep them at an arm's distance; I wanted to completely cut ties.  Phone calls are limited and few, and the kids see them about 2-4 times a year.  We don't do family trips which makes things easier.

I assume that DH isn't directly talking to your parents, so you do have some power to limit the conversations and time spent.  Do what you can and feel comfortable with.  Maybe talk to someone else about how to set boundaries that work for you besides your husband.  [/quote]

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