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[quote=Anonymous]Your childhood and current situation sounds very much like mine OP.  VERY much.

You were definitely abused, by any measure, and no matter how many qualifiers you put on it what you experienced is at the top end of that 1-10 scale.

I just started therapy 3months ago and it doesn't come naturally to me, I don't love what it stirs up, and I waffle about whether the pain of reliving/talking about stuff is worth it.  But it is helping me reframe my thinking, work on my initial reactions to anything emotional, feel able to release myself from a bit of the ongoing guilt, etc...  It is helpful - bit by bit.

One of the most clarifying questions I can ask myself is "Would I consider it acceptable for my child to experience this?" I can very easily be crystal clear on what is acceptable or not for my child, and then I apply that same eye to how I view my childhood and it can be very clarifying.

Try to allow yourself to do the work OP.  I stated very clearly to my therapist that i was interested in helping myself, but not interested in hashing things out with aging parents in almost certain futile efforts to change them.  She totally understood and is working with me accordingly.

I wish you luck, a reasonably speedy path on your journey, and peace on the other side.

You deserved better when you were a child.  Now you deserve to help yourself feel better.[/quote]

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