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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I agree that it is a lonely place because, in my case, I was the only one who knew this child. I felt him, he kicked me, I fed him, I woke him up, he fell asleep inside me. He twisted and turned inside me. When he wanted to stretch out, he used to put his feet right under my liver. 
It is lonely and it separates me from my husband and my children. I am strong for my kids, but otherwise, it really sucks. [/quote]

It’s OP - Of course. I’m so sorry that you lost your son. I understand exactly how you feel. Sometimes DHs are more consumed with our pain than their own and want to fix it and make it go away. As time goes on, it goes away for some and not others. We feel what we feel and need to accept it. Sometimes it’s that silent ache. Do you believe that your sadness can coexist with the joy of your DH and children? Or does it make you feel guilty if you don’t think of your son in those happy moments? That’s a hard hurdle. Somehow, it just happens when you’re not expecting it. I hope this happens for you. You didn’t mention how long ago it was that you lost him, not that it matters. Some of us can live in the present, some both the present and past. I modifed a snippet from an EE Cummings poem, that I etched into my fireplace stone. I don’t look at it that often anymore, but when I happen to walk past it, I run my fingers across the etching. [i]I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart, wherever I go, you go, my love[/i]  [/quote]

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