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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "high conflict ex wife"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry if you want to co-parent then things like when to potty train are open for discussion. Otherwise, it's not co-parenting, it's parallel parenting, and potty training isn't the best if it's done that way. You need to tell her to communicate through email only. It sounds like you're a pain in the ass if you are taking any bait and engaging in front of your child. Grow up.[/quote] are you saying that I'm a pain in the ass? She's 3, she shouldn't be in diapers. Pullups ok but diapers? No. I legally get facetime with my kids, she takes over FaceTime and that's how I'm tricked into answering her calls.[/quote] You’re calling your ex “high conflict” but you’re engaging in a power struggle over pull-ups and diapers. Got it. And when she takes over your FaceTime with kids and starts arguing with you, you somehow forget how to politely say, “I’m sorry. I’m going to end this call right now because you’re arguing with me,” and then hit the hang-up button. When you admit you enjoy the drama on some level, you might get somewhere with dealing with her. But you’ve got to first see your role in this. You were attracted to her for some reason, so much so that you’ve had unprotected sex with her in the last couple of years. Stop your engagement around her antics. [/quote] It was through text that I responded about the pull-ups. I simply stated that I had begun potty training DD, and that I believed that 3 was too old for diapers. That's all I said on the matter. [b]When she tricks me into answering and is threatening command, of course I'm going to respond[/b]. [/quote] Stop being a victim. You’re not getting “tricked.” You’re an adult who is allowing himself to be baited. Simply end the conversation. If she threatens to go to your commander, respond with “I’m hanging up now,” if it’s a phone call. If she texts that, no response whatsoever. Do as PP suggested and give your CO a heads up. But please stop with the “But I have to respond.” No, you don’t. You really need to practice with a friend around how to disengage. It’s not easy, but it can be done. The more you respond to her, the more it continues. It’s really that simple. [/quote] My lawyer has advised me to respond. I am building a case. I'm just unsure of what exactly can be done with that case.[/quote] Okay, then respond with the least amount of text. Ex: When am I getting the money for the school supplies? You: See text dated 7/2/18 Ex: I deleted the text. When am I getting the money?!? You: (no response at all because you’ve given her two responses) [/quote] Ex: when am I getting the money for school supplies. You: School supplies are included in the child support, but since you'd prefer for me to pay for them, I will get the list from the school and purchase them by 8/20/2018. Ex: I prefer the money You: Ok, use the child support, otherwise I will purchase what the kids need for both your house and mine. Ex: I want the money You: I'll will be purchasing the kids school supplies and some new clothing. If you prefer to purchase them, use your income or the child support which covers my portion of the kids needs in your home. Have a good evening. Ex: I want the money. You: It would be best if we had the attorneys discuss this issue directly. Have a good evening.[/quote]
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