Reply to We are adding a child to our family unexpectedly…how to budget

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I want to point out that of course I know we can handle it BUT its also something we hadn't planned and want to take on these costs consciously and responsibility.  My kids are 5 and 7 and my nephew is 10.  They will all need aftercare because my hours will be 1 to 5 daily. (Thats the only option they gave me and I jumped at it).  My nephew plays some sports but sporadically because he never really had anyone to consistently take him anywhere. We would love to get him into any kind of sport or program where he feels a community and can make friends.  We really are excited to have him but Im keeping in my my other kids might need some family therapy and we might all acquire random "transitional" expenses I can't even predict yet. Thanks for all the replies![/quote]

I am not understanding.. you took a part time job of 1-5pm to spend time with your kids but all the kids will be in elementary school, and then aftercare on top of that? You are spending less time with them and spending more money, while cutting your pay. [/quote]

Well its not quite that easy.  We have so many court dates, therapy appointments and social worker meetings that having a block of the week day I can do all these things is VERY helpful.  I would be taking off so much PTO without it. [/quote]

Sorry his submit too soon. Plus I will be able to take nephew to school and do the whole morning routine with all my kids. [/quote]

Okay, this is not financial advice .. but mostly because it sounds like you're actually pretty squared away there.

Yeah .. until you've lived it, you have no idea how much time is eaten up each week with these kinds of appointments.  Plus you'll be able to do all of the other weekly chores such as grocery shopping during the day so your evenings and weekends are with your kids.

I'm not clear on the amount of activities each kid has, but from a family balance issue, we've found limiting it to 2 activities per kid at one time to be the best solution.  Depending on the activities, you might find that a cost savings.

It sounds like you're already planning to arrange family therapy.  Of course your nephew is having a huge transition, but it's also a big transition for your bio kids as well.  One thing to note is in adoption, it's generally recommended to preserve birth order.  In this case, that isn't possible, but that's another area where you should be especially sensitive.  We are on BCBS and have found their network for mental health professionals be alright and better than a lot of other insurance plans.  Adoption is a qualifying life event if you need to change health insurance providers for a better network of providers.  When you're shopping for therapists, pay more attention to fit than to the individual's credentials.  We've had a LCSW be a better fit than a psychologist just because of personalities.  Don't be afraid to change therapists if it's just not a good fit.  I've noticed a different (and good!) dynamic between a tween boy and a male therapist vs a female therapist, so all else being equal, I would try that first.

Lastly, I would encourage you and your DH to create a plan where each of you have 1-on-1 time with each of your children on a regular basis.  This time can be very mundane stuff like doing errands, but make sure it happens.

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