Reply to Angry at friend who became a widow 2 years ago, and he approached me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]THis seems nuts.

OP, if you're interested in seeing whether there is a romantic possibility with this man then email or call him and invite him out for coffee or dinner or something.  Then see how things go and if you feel like you are interested and he is available/open say something like "You know Robert, I'm not sure where you re on this subject, but I have valued our friendship quite a lot.  I would be interested in seeing whether there might be the possibility of something more between us.  What do you think?"

Then let him answer and believe whatever he says.

Basically, act like an adult and allow him the opportunity to do so also.  You sound like you've been reading between lines, vacillating about your own behavior and interest, maybe sending very mixed signals, etc...  Grow up and communicate.[/quote]

I'm not sure why you'd be advising her to do this when that's exactly what happened. She invited him out, he accepted, he paid and then proceeded to tell her that he's casually dating, not wanting anything serious with anyone and still grieving.

He did communicate. She didn't like what was communicated. I wouldn't force him to go through some tortuous exercise because of her lack of comprehension skills. I'm particularly amused by her saying that she's appalled that HE would be risking this longterm friendship. If anything it sounds like he's being kind and also trying to maintain said friendship. Yes so he'd be okay with being physical but has explicitly told her that he doesn't want what she obviously does.

OP leave it. He doesn't want you the way you want him. Be offended if you want but he's told you that you're not that for him.[/quote]

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