Reply to How did you come to terms with your parents divorce?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a kid I used to pray daily that they’d divorce.  They divorced my freshman year of college and I was pissed (still am) that they waited til then.  They weren’t doing me any favors![/quote]

They might not have wanted to miss a minute of living with you when you were at home. [/quote]

Not PP, but someone who grew up like PP.

The "not miss a minute" idea may have some truth to it. but it is very selfish way to live life.  If a grown up cannot handle being in a social situation without letting their mood undermine the fun for everyone, they should go home, right? I mean, I don't get to ruin my niece's wedding, or Passover, or a school performance just because I can't keep my feelings in check, right? Better not to go than to suck the joy out of all family occasions....

Here is my inner child talking now: mom, dad, sometimes it isn't about you! Sometimes it was actually about me.  Thank you so much!

[/quote]

A selfless person would give up their interests and stay together for growing children to maintain the financial stability, to allow the child to stay in his neighborhood and schools, to be there in any and every moment of potential crisis for a child. Quantity time is much more important than quality time. After the child is an adult and strong the option to leave is there. If the child looks back on what was necessary in a poor light then that's ok too because being a protective and sacrificing parent does not require being rewarded with gratitude. It is a reward in itself .[/quote]

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