Reply to Middle schooler who intentionally annoys his peers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am chiming in a bit late, I have something I want to say about the teasing vs bullying. I don't think we do our kids any favors by treating them as fragile beings who can't take some teasing, good grief if you had siblings then you've been subjected to a lifetime of it. If the child has been saying something truly mean - commenting on weight or physical appearance, saying someone has no friends, talking about someone's mother - that is over the line. But seriously, saying "Lucas pookis" is not bullying by any definition. Those of you who define it as bullying really aren't doing your kids any favors by not helping them learn to cope. It's our job to teach our children that life isn't fair, mean people suck, and annoying people should be ignored.

I know that some won't agree, that's ok.  I'm teaching my children to deal and therefore they will be able to stand it without falling apart. I'm just urging others to do the same because it will be helpful to their kids.  [/quote]

Oh for Pete's sake, spare the lecture. We don't know enough about the context to know whether it's bullying (which legally has a sliding scale definition with weights on frequency and severity, and sometimes intent depending on jurisdiction). But frequency is a factor in the definition.

But let's for the sake of argument say it's not. That Lucas -- who from OPs account is acting appropriately in asking OPs son to stop and not physically lashing out -- is not being bullied. The point is that Lucas has asked OPs son repeatedly to stop, and OPs son isn't stopping. It's not whether Lucas pookis is some okay tease or not. It's a matter of consent not the content of the name.

OP is doing the right thing here. In fact this is a great opportunity to learn if this behavior can be stopped and if it can't, deal with it in context where the consequences aren't significant. Repeatedly doing a behavior that the other child has asked to stop is a very slippery slope to excuse but apparently some of you are raising very entitled kids. OP, however, is a good parent. My guess is that that those of you saying Lucas should just suck it up have boys and will screaming from the hills about the unfairness of it all when your teen son gets expelled because he has been repeatedly sexually harrassing girls (or worse) because you have been teaching him entitlement all along.

Out of curiosity, those.of you who think OPs son's behavior is fine and Lucas needs to suck it up, are you okay when this behavior moves to repeatedly touching another classmate? How about when the name turns into a sexual or racial insult? Where is your line? Do you even have one? Or is anything your child does excused?[/quote]

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