Reply to my wife's thin skin

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound controlling, tbh.[/quote]

How, exactly?[/quote]

Read back a couple of posts. Pp called it criticism. That, but in a dickish manner and he probably talks down to her, too.[/quote]

So I should have [b]let [/b]me wife drive my kids around despite the fact that she hadn't been behind the wheel in 10 years, and despite the fact she had never before driven in the USA?

A parent's first duty is to keep his or her children safe. I would never gamble with a child's life.

Now that she has experience on USA roads, I'm fine with her driving the kids around. So the "control" that I wanted to exert was solely to ensure the safety of my kids.[/quote]

Your wife is a grown-ass woman.  You don't "let" her do things, or not.  You discuss them with her.  "Honey, how much time driving solo do you think you'll need before you feel comfortable driving the kids?" versus "You can't drive the kids for two weeks."  It's not about whether someone else would or would not be comfortable with it, it's about how you view and talk about things with your wife.

Given how quickly you escalated to being incredibly defensive and kind of obnoxious, I'm beginning to see the problem.  [/quote]

As I mentioned, I suggested two years ago that she start driving. The two years came and went. Sorry, but I can't let somebody -- even my wife -- put my kids in danger. I'm totally fine if people think that makes me an ass. My kids' safety comes first.

[/quote]

Again, your tone and defensiveness here suggests to me that it's not just your wife's thin skin that's an issue.  If discussions with her sound anything like the discussion here, I can see why she does what she can to avoid confrontation with you.  It's not about whether or not your concerns are legitimate, it's about how you talk about things with your wife.

You need to think about how critical/nitpicky you are of your wife, and about whether the way you express disagreement fosters a constructive discussion or just shuts things down.  If she's never going to hear the end of it if she disagrees, or if you're constantly finding fault or disagreeing and she feels like she can't ever do anything right, then every little incident isn't going to be evaluated on its own, it's just going to one more example of the big problem.  [/quote]

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