Reply to Another child says mean things to mine and parent does nothing?

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Reply to "Another child says mean things to mine and parent does nothing?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why will none of you speak up?

I give the other parent one or two chances to say something.  If they don't say something after the first comment (or second), I start to say something when her child does something wrong.  If she doesn't like it, then she can either parent or she can end the playdates.  I assume she doesn't know what or how to say something.  Many parents don't.  So you show her by example.  If she doesn't like it, she can do her job as a parent, or she will find herself out of playdates as she avoids people who won't put up with her child.  It isn't the child's fault.  All children say inappropriate things.  Most children learn what is and is not appropriate from their parents who correct them when they say something wrong or teach them how to say nicer things.  This child hasn't learned because his parent(s) have not taught him what is and is not appropriate.  So step in and help him and her out; say something to him.  If she sees you; she may either realize that she needs to say something or she may learn how to say it from watching you.[/quote]
This is great advice.  Keep in mind that this child is still learning what is and is not socially acceptable behavior.  It takes a village, so if the parent isn't correcting behavior, then feel free to do it yourself.  I'll correct a stranger's kids if they act in a socially unacceptable way, for example taking a toy out of another child's hands.  Keep in mind your examples are not abnormal for that age.  They are expressing their feelings that they don't want to play with a younger child.  Not all kids that age have developed empathy to understand it can hurt someone's feelings. You could tell them "Larlo isn't a baby and it's not nice to say you don't want to play with someone."  Then give them a choice, play together or play by yourself.

You should also be teaching your child how to handle situations like this, because there will be times you're not around and they need to be able to stick up for themselves.  Sometimes the only solution will be to distance yourself from the parent/kid.  It's unfortunate because it won't help them learn.  [/quote]

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