Reply to Adult son is moving home. I'm conflicted.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Adult son is moving home. I'm conflicted."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, first of all, you have my sympathies.

DH has a younger brother living with his parents. He is likely gifted, has multiple degrees, and has worked an actual job for no more than three years of his entire adult life. He is 45. The stress of the situation has aged DH's parents considerably. DH has at least 1 other male first cousin, even older, who still lives at home. This is on his father's side. These cousins have  always lived in separate cities, and really not had much contact over the years, yet the pattern of their lives is remarkably similar and I am convinced there is a genetic component.

I am scared out of my mind because I see a lot of similarities between our oldest DS and DH's brother and cousin. DS just turned 21, has almost a 4.0 in Honors, works during the year as an RA and has an internship this summer. But he is living at home this summer and it's a situation that's unsuitable long-term. I just pray he can get a decent job out of college and then we will help him get set up in some kind of living situation that is not at our house. The biggest mistake my ILs ever made was letting their son move home. He's 45, without a job, and he will never leave.

[/quote]

Same here, my husband's brother has untreated ADHD inattentive and has issues now socially and professionally. He's on his fifth paid graduated degree by my In Laws, complete with helping him on his homework. He has been fired for jobs each time - but for bad judgement (leaving for vacation w/o finishing a big project, not knowing the materials, acting like a flake, etc.). He confidence has suffered, he can't figure out why he's messing up, he's apparently scared to get a job again, and each time he restarts in a new industry he is much older than the 22 yos. ANd any girlfriend dumps him within a year of seeing this as well.

They enable him, and now gift him rental properties so he has no financial need to work frankly. I think if he could get treated with an executive functions coach plus maybe some ADHD medicine, he would be a lot happier and productive. This pattern has gone on too long. He was never given tools to be successful, the parent or tutor were always the tool. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics