Reply to Dishonesty discovered day before wedding -- WWYD?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  Yep, a Thursday wedding.  The actual wedding is not a big event (we're having a large celebration in the fall, this is a small legal ceremony with immediately family only).

I also wonder if the woman knew--but so far it seems truly that it was chance and she doesn't know he's with me.  In any case, irrelevant.

I agree with PPs who say that dating IS complicated in your 30s and no one can be expected not to have a past.  [b]What bothers me is that I asked him directly a few times why he had such discomfort about going into the building and he chose to mislead me.[/b]

I don't really believe in "fate" per se but I have wondered if finding this out right before marriage is supposed to be a wake up call.  I agree I'm probably blowing this out of proportion.  Thanks for the perspective, all.[/quote]
That part bothers me too, a lot. If it weren't for your dirdction questions I would say it's no big deal at all. I'm split on whether you should go ahead with the ceremony or postpone it a bit since it's small and immediate family only. Either way you need to make sure he knows that lying when asked a direct question is a big deal and not something you are signing up for.[/quote]

NP. I wouldn't think the not specifically mentioning the ex/fwb was a big deal enough to call off the wedding (although honestly I'd not be happy about it, since we generally discuss these things) but the fact that you asked him and he evaded is a big red flag for me. It means he either doesn't respect you and think you have a right to the truth, or he knows that you should know but he wants to keep the door open. I wouldn't want to marry someone under either of those conditions.[/quote]

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