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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am so sorry for your situation and I think you sound very good mom for being concerned about this.

I think that you need to be aware of the potential negative impacts on your child. I grew up with a similar father. Unlike other posters here, he often took out his frustrations on myself and my sibling out of sight of our mother. I'm not if this was intentional or not, perhaps he felt overwhelmed at caring for two children solo. His behavior usually just verbally aggressive and screaming although it did become physical at one point. I remember feeling relief when my parents eventually divorced and my mother was granted primary custody. Today my relationship my father is 'fine'. I observe that he now attempts to be a good father, and appreciate his efforts at this late stage of the game, but I will never forget his behavior towards me as a young child.

Today my parents are each remarried and my sibling and I are both have good marriages. Subconsciously I looked for a signs of traits and characteristics of this behavior in boyfriends and avoided these guys.

I do not mean to gloat but when I read these comments from so many women with DHs who are mean moody jerks, I feel very fortunate to have my DH who is emotionally stable and rarely raises his voice. Again, I do not mean to brag but simply tell you that not all men are like this, and there men out there who do not behave this way to their wives and children.

I appreciate your thoughtful response.  I’m glad to hear you found someone like your husband. I really worry about my son in all of this, but also feel powerless over it. We have a difficult dynamic of me stepping in when my husband gets too angry, which makes him feel undermined, and admittedly is not a good dynamic for our son to see, but I also will not stand by and let my son think I think it’s ok.  My husband wants a “united front” but in my opinion that only works if both parents are reasonable. I’m not going to let him be out of control with our child and put on the “united front” face.

Good luck. [/quote][/quote]

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