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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is a tough position to be in.  As you said, we can love a person and yet be so disappointed by their flaws.  Do you think he is aware of the negative impact that his actions/reactions will have over time?  If you ask him what kind of a dad he wants to be, would he be completely unaware that he is missing the mark or would he recognize and admit that he is not the dad he hoped to be?  [/quote]

This is OP.  When I have discussed it with him he turns it into a shame/pity spiral.  “Maybe I’m just not cut out for parenting” etc.  He would rather feel bad for himself that he’s “doing a bad job” than think critically about how to fix it. He will also blame it on our son. “I just wish he weren’t so difficult.”  There was a particularly bad time last year when my son tried to make up with him and he was still red hot mad and my son came down and sadly said “forget it. Everything I do dad is mad at me.”  He was 4 :(  I told my husband about that and it straightened him out a bit, but he seems to always revert to his baseline of loose cannon. [/quote]

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