Reply to women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?

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Reply to "women's invisible labor - anyone had luck getting spouse to take on more of the mental work?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi, I'm the OP here. Like another poster said...to some people, planning and organizing come easily.[b] They don't come easily to my husband, [/b]and they are challenging to me because of the volume and constant nature of this work. To all of you who find these tasks to be easy, congratulations.

I can do planning/organizing tasks very well at my full-time job, but in the off hours, I'd like the planning and organizing tasks to be more evenly divided so I am not the household manager, delegating tasks and making sure the tasks are completed. It puts me on the computer many hours a day, which is not healthy and gives me little time to relax. And I want to avoid the dynamic of one person frequently reminding the other spouse and children to do tasks.

I'd like my husband to take care of a complete domain such as arranging childcare or handling everything to do with medical appointments/health insurance. Has anyone been in a similar position within their marriage and found a way to more evenly balance the planning/organizing/household management tasks? [/quote]

I haven’t decided if men are truly unable to plan things or if they just use incompetence as an excuse.  Maybe a little of both.

The best way to handle this is to assign him something, not discuss it at great length and then remove yourself from it.  Tell him when he’s listening that he’s in charge of birthday parties going forward.  That this means the invitations, cake, food etc.  then don’t mention it again.  This means you don’t provide reminders, don’t micro manage, don’t pick it the cake, NOTHING.  See what happens.  You may be surprised.

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