Reply to I just turned 40 and my DH tells me he loves me but doesn’t feel the same

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sorry, OP. Did he explain what he meant?[/quote]

We have been fighting a lot, have toddlers, and feels like we have grown apart a little. I didn’t expect this. I take it as he has fallen out of love with me and no longer had feeling . [/quote]

Fighting about what? Why do people post and give zero details? [/quote]

We relocated across the country, he has constant work travel and I gave up my job as a result of the move. We’re way better off financially but I miss my old life. He thinks I should be happy with our new lifestyle because of the money.[/quote]

Not the poster that asked but cross country move, giving up job and his career being primary, plus toddlers - that’s a lot of change.  What was the conversation before he took the job with more travel and money and you moved cross country?  I’m not saying that you can’t change your mind but if it was all signals go, I can SAH now, and it will be an adventure?  If so, it would be hellavu confusing that the person isn’t happy.  Was there discussion about it being a sacrifice to give up your career, beyond the money, to put his first and to make this work you needed him to be able to be hands on during the weekends and for you to have help during the week while he traveled?  Or to live in a neighborhood that was a real community (upsides and downsides to this) so you would really get to know other people prior to kids going to school and could build a network?

If you are coming up with solutions and he is shooting them all down, that’s one thing.  But if you aren’t trying to think of things that improve your situation how will things get better?  There is a whole thread about outsourcing http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/726040.page.  I look at it this way, it cheaper to get someone to clean your house x times a month, if this is a bone of contention, then have built up resentment, have to nag, have less time for self and DH.  Look for those options that benefit your well being AND work for the job he has I.e. not adding crazy time onto commute, extending hours, requiring him to get a different job etc. and have a discussion from there.

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