Reply to Trump Example and the Idea of the Disposable Wife

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Reply to "Trump Example and the Idea of the Disposable Wife"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b]It is not lack of shunning that causes cheating[/b], it is lack of character.

If you really care about not getting cheated on, go for character in your spouse above any other trait. Although there are never any guarantees in life.[/quote]

I disagree in part.  It is not that lack of public reprobation causes cheating, as you say.  A not unsubstantial percentage of married men (and women also) have always cheated, continue to cheat, and will always cheat.

What was different in the past, however, is that societal mores and public opprobrium -  by and large - kept marriages safely moored to the benefit of the innocent spouse and children.  Men (and women) cheated, yes, but they more rarely left their intact families for the affair partner, leaving behind destruction and dysfunction in their wake.  Think back just fifteen years ago when politicians and titans of industry could have a career derailed or permanently sidelined over the exposure of an extramarital affair, particularly one for which you abandoned a spouse or two ([i]e.g.[/i], Newt Gingrich and William Agee).  Yet after the Trump effect married men (and women) can rightly rationalize the following to themselves: "Not only will having an extramarital affair and leaving my family NOT jeopardize the career and reputation I have worked so long and hard to establish, but gosh darn it, I can still grow up to be President one day."

Yes the Scarlet Letter was a bad thing, but I believe that the pendulum has now swung too far to the opposite extreme.  One male poster, who is a rising corporate executive, told the following story in another Thread on this Forum.  A female colleague he worked with was uncomfortable with an obvious romantic relationship that their senior executive boss was having with a different female colleague, so she approached their boss to tell him so.  The senior executive denied the relationship and told the woman that if she ever brought up the subject again, he would fire her.  Some time later, their boss left his longtime wife and their family for their other colleague.  We should be able to approach the people we work with, without the threat of being terminated, to tell them that an extramarital romantic relationship makes us uncomfortable, and the persons involved should be made to internalize the cost of the discomfort that their behavior is causing, not only their families, but also their professional colleagues.       [/quote]

A mild rebuke, or outing, of even "obscure" persons, as substantiated by facts - and not rumor or innuendo - might not be such a bad thing.  It would make actors who break up their families for an affair, internalize some of the cost of the societal discomfort and pain that their behavior imposes upon others.[/quote]

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