Reply to DH Wants to Incur Educational Debt and We're Almost 40

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You need to look at numbers, here, OP, not take a stand on principle.

How much money out vs how much money in, and how much retirement and college savings.

My husband refuses to treat his ADHD and has been let go from multiple jobs and has had multiple periods of unemployment. Perhaps your husband has ADHD too. It's very common, and leads to all sorts of issues like these. Going back to school could be a form of escapism when he feels he can't cut it in his real job. If his issues stem from ADHD, meds can definitely help with that.
[/quote]

I hate to say this, OP, but this poster may have some insight. Her description fits my XDH to a T, down to the midlife crisis, ADD-linked escapism and returning to school—my XDH returned to school at age 51, although he says he wants to retire at 56 and our kids are in college. The posters talking about midlife crises and possible ADD may be right, and your DH may just find that he’s unhappy in his new job for many of the reasons he was unhappy before (ADD means he has trouble functioning in many jobs, midlife crisis means he’d really rather see if he can make that guitar/band thing pay off than be tied down to a family). People who are depressed and/or have ADD often think that making major changes—move the family to another state, big career changes—will be the magic pill that makes them happy. But it rarely does.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t support your DH, or that he definitely has depression or ADD. But I think the pps saying he needs to teach himself online are right for a whole host of reasons, including that it’s cheaper and a degree isn’t necessary, but also because he needs to work for this and see it’s real, rather than an escape where he gets it handed to him at a 4-year college. Also, you might suggest he see a psychiatrist to get evaluated for depression/ADD/ADHD. As pp said, meds can really help with all of this.[/quote]

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