Reply to Would you maintain relationship with in laws for the sake of inheritance?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]For those saying to suck it up, what about when they get older and start increasing their demands? Manipulative people aren’t going to stop being manipulative when they’re in a more vulnerable state, things will just get worse.[/quote]

What demands?  MIL "sulks" if they go to the other grandparents' for a holiday, and doesn't send OP Mother's Day cards.  Where is the demand?  Or manipulation, for that matter?

OP, your kids miss their grandparents, they live in town, they want to spend time with you and are apparently incredibly generous with you, and you haven't described any reason to cut them out of your life.  What is your problem?[/quote]

The problem is MIL will not respond to texts or calls when she is mad. She will say they're busy when DH does get in touch.  She will not tell you why she is mad.  Each time once I realize that there is a problem I have to reach out to find out what it was that upset her or I have to push DH to smooth things over.  Initially, I honestly was worried that I did something wrong, so I would reach out so I could correct it.  After a while, [b]I realized that she just gets upset if things are not her ideal,[/b] or sometimes she cuts me off because she is mad at DH for not coming over to fix the computer or not calling her back or whatever.

And I mention the birthdays and mother's day cards because that was the standard she set when we start dating and later got married.  I personally think Hallmark cards are a waste of money but she loves them and would send them for these events plus easter, valentine's day etc.  It is weird to have it some years and other years radio silence and no acknowledgement of the cards and gifts that we send.[/quote]

I wonder if you realize how much the bolded seems to represent your mindset.  None of what you've described is remotely a big deal.  The idea that you would cut someone out of your life because she once sent you a Valentine's card but no longer does, while trying to also assert that you think cards are a waste of money, is borderline insane.  Like, genuinely, not-right-in-the-head reasoning.[/quote]

I think we're dwelling too much on the cards.  The point is being cut off from communication - not responding to calls, text, not sending cards, not wanting to make plans. Radio silence until enough time has passed and one of us reaches out or I encourage DH to stop by, etc. and then everything is good again until it is not.[/quote]

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