Reply to Siblings who refuse to hire childcare

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This might be an inlaw thing/children of my son thing. We too have had 2 hospitalizations where my parents hopped on a plane to help us. My local inlaws did not because it was me who needed help and not my DH (DH is overseas). They think that my parents should help my family when I need help and they should help if DH ever needed help. DH has never needed help though as he's always gone. [/quote]

What?  I have two sons and I hope I am never this crazy when they are adults.[/quote]

Do you have a daughter too? Parents with both a son and a daughter always favor the daughter's kids. Parents with two sons seem to not favor the same way and are more equal. Just something my friends and I have noticed.[/quote]

Let me guess - you have girls.

I've noticed nothing of the sort.  I do think older grandchildren are often favored.[/quote]

DP. I think the daughter's kids are often favored. Probably because women are generally better at maintaining ties and often speak with their own parents much more than the ILs. My mom says it is very different with my kids (who she basically has free access to) compared to my brother's kids (who she doesn't see/talk to as much). I talk to my mom every day, and thus my kids usually do, too. She does not talk to brother or SIL that much. Her friends all report the same thing. [/quote]

I think it's also because women tend on average to be more likely to be the primary caretakers and can thus organize trips to the zoo during a week day ,for example.

My SIL is unhealthily enmeshed with her mom and I'm not with mine so my mother doesn't play the same role with my kids as my MIL plays with my SIL's kids.

When my MIL totally overstepped boundaries when my LO was a baby I stepped away pretty hard. She wanted more intimacy with me than I have with my own mother and I didn't like it.[/quote]

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