Reply to Can I not invite my ILs?

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Reply to "Can I not invite my ILs?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]14:13, the solution to this is not to pressure women to be the most perfect DILs who treat everyone the same.  The solution is to raise your SONS to grow up and value their nuclear family ties.  So that the husbands in these situations will be in charge of nurturing and maintaining these relationships.

I don't resent my inlaws for wanting time with my kids.  I LOVE that they love my kids.  It's wonderful.  I do resent that I am supposed to treat them equal to my own mother.   Things have been better since I've nudged them to go through my DH and not me.[/quote]

The solution is also not to just leave them out to dry and act like they are crazy because their feelings are hurt by the situation. Both sides frustration can be understandable and compassion is the right choice IMO.

There is a middle ground. You don't need to treat them as if YOU think they are equal to your mother but IMO you DO need to treat them as if they are an equally important grandparent to your children. There is a distinction there. [/quote]

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