Reply to 13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card

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Reply to "13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card - WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I discovered 5-6 iTunes charges on my credit card over the past 15-20 days. Turns out 13 yo DS took my credit card and entered it to his Apple ID. He’s been playing Fort Nite on his iPad. He only gets the iPad on weekends and he lost his iPhone privileges a long time ago (long story but combo of bad grades and bad attitude) and was *just* about to get the iPhone back until we learned of the unauthorized charges. Grades and attitude have improved remarkably but I am so disappointed at his dishonesty. Initially he denied it then when faced with proof he didn’t apologize. He sulked for hours and cried that we’ve taken everything away from him. iTunes is refunding the $300+ charges. iPad has been taken away. 
I’m always telling my kids “what happens in the dark comes out in the light” ALWAYS. [b]He’s a good kid, [/b]does his own laundry every Sunday, takes out trash and vacuums, is getting A’s and B’s taking the most challenging courses his school offers. He plays travel level sports (he loves it) and has a solid groups of good friends who all seem to be good boys. I’m surprised that he thought he could get away with this. What’s the appropriate punishment ? I told him to write an essay on why it’s important to be honest.  WWYD??[/quote]

Stealing your credit card and charging $300(!) on it is not the behavior of a "good kid," OP. It's just... not what "good kids" do! So maybe he has it in him to BE a good kid...but no...this sort of disqualifies him from this label at the moment.

From the other things you mentioned, it seems he is on the right path in terms of positive influences (the grades, sports, personal responsibility angles, etc.) but INTEGRITY is a huge part of character developement on the way to being a "good kid"--and he has a ways to go.

I would definitely come down hard and fast on him. The travel sports that he loves so much would be in jeopardy at my house, as that sounds like an activity that, if lost, would MEAN something to him.

I think the thing I would be most concerned about right now is that--for whatever reason--he is failing to connect his own actions/choices with the consequences and is trying to play victim to your mean parent ways. This would not fly. He needs some humility and to realize that not taking responsibility and making the connection is what will make his world only crumble harder and faster. He may think no phone or iPad is bad...but if he hasn't seen the world of "no phone/no iPad AND no travel sports" yet, OP!
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