Reply to 13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card

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Reply to "13 yo & unauthorized charges on our credit card - WWYD?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. By the way I was not “emotional” when I approached DS and I don’t know why some think my post was “emotional”. I certainly don’t want to push my DD away - trust me I never went to my mom when I was a teenager, and I try to foster open relationship with my sons.   He came to my bedroom while I was reading last night to talk. I told him I value honesty and it’s really important to tell me the truth - especially when it’s bad. He mainly laid down at the bottom of our bed and sat silently. I didn’t break the silence except to say I hope he comes to me for everything - and I mean everything. I like the suggestion of having him write an essay about Addictive video games and gambling. I’m trying to use this as a learning opportunity, and not have some power struggle. I don’t post a lot here and hoping the DCUM+D “village” can provide constructive ideas. The Apple rep mentioned she gets daily calls about these sorts of unauthorized charges and most times the parents say “no no, Jonny would never have done that !” She said she’s glad we got to the bottom of it and aren’t in denial like most parents [/quote]

I think I would have your son reflect on what kind of person he wants to be.  Does he want to be an honest, trustworthy person?  Does he want to be a thief?  This sounds like a one-off, so it's not like you're dealing with a pattern of behavior, but he's at an age where he can be a little more reflective.  What kind of relationship would he like to have with his parents?  Would he like to be trusted?  And think about how the choices you make shape who you are and what kind of relationships you have--how does he feel about this choice?  Does he feel like it was worth it?  How did he feel when he was waiting for you to find out?  Maybe ask him what he thinks appropriate consequences would be.  [/quote]

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