Reply to Husband has wanted kids for 12 years, puts in no effort to have kids

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This seems very sad to me.
Maybe try saying, "It might have happened when it happens if we had actually been having vaginal intercourse during my prime childbearing years. At this point, since I am nearing the end of those years and we are not even having any vaginal intercourse, I need for you to STOP SAYING THAT and start making plans with me for how it is actually going to happen. The years of seeing what would happen are behind us. If you will not participate with me in vaginal intercourse, then I would ask you to go to a fertility clinic and put it in a cup and they will put it into my vagina for you. And if you will not do that, then I will ask you to understand if I go to the fertility clinic on my own and get some donor sperm. Time is running out. Let's make babies, one way or another - take your pick, but let's do it!"
[/quote]

This is a good script, OP.

I would just add: "And if you maintain that you will only let what happens, happen -- then I have to question whether you really do want children. I do. It requires basics that we are not doing, and since I am now heading out of the prime childbearing years, I need to know now if you are willing to make an effort or not."

OP, he might be liking your married-without-kids life enough that he thinks on some level he wants kids but also feels they would disrupt the great couple-only life. Which they absolutely do.

If he hesitates about making a real effort, I'd get into some counseling immediately to determine if you and he are going to go forward as a couple without kids (a viable option that is just fine, if you both want it), or as a couple actively trying for and both wanting kids, or not as a couple at all. [/quote]

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