Reply to Losing the war with my 13 yo DD

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I used to be wretched to my mother.  Slamming doors, screaming I hated her, storming around the house and running from the dinner table crying.

She used to sort of cock her head and say "oh sweetie, it's your hormones" and I'd scream "IT'S NOT MY HORMONES YOU ALL SUCK!" and run away crying.

I mean, now it's pretty comical because hello, I was insane because of hormones.  Like I was INSANE.  In the head.

She would let me rage and then come up and ignore whatever atrocious thing I'd said to the entire family, she'd let me be mad, rub my back, tell me she loved me and was SO CALM about it all.  I would still growl at her a little, but she'd let it lie and then leave me alone.

We are incredibly close now as adults.  I am so terrified for when my spirited preschooler is 13.  I am screwed.[/quote]

PP, my teen girl is not like this. When she goes a little crazy, she responds well and dials it back when I reprimand her if she is disrespectful.  She comments on other kid's behavior and says, you wouldn't let me act like that so I don't.  My mom tells me that I too didn't go through what you are describing  So would it have worked if your mom had been stricter, told you that you were not allowed to talk like that to her and that you should leave the room until you were ready to talk calmly?  I have other kids, and I'm trying to understand what I should do if faced with craziness like you are describing.   [/quote]

Wow. Do you give parent coaching lessons?[/quote]

Honestly, I do think I use effective parenting techniques, but I also think that I could be doing all this same stuff and nonetheless have a child who didn't respond and have to adapt or just put up with more -- you can't be angry with or punish your kid all the time.  You parent the kid you have -- in this respect I have easy ones.  Maybe I can take credit for not ruining them.    [/quote]

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