Reply to The financial advantages of NOT getting married

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[quote=Anonymous]There is a movie that you may have heard of "Love Don't Cost a Thing."  But in real life, it does.  Ask any married couple that has been married for a while and they will tell you that there is a cost to marriage (and it's not just financial).  Hopefully, they will tell you of its benefits as well.

If you make all of your decisions in light of financial benefit, you may miss out on other non-monetary benefits and realize that in one of the biggest decisions, possibly most important in your life, you are letting a tax code dictate your values and what you do.

In some way, money influences what we do and we see it here on these boards every day - should I pay off my mortgage, how much house can I afford, etc.  But for the most intimate decision you can make, do you want money to be the sole determinant of whether you tie the knot or not?

At some point, you have to look at the relationship based on its merits and decide whether it is worth it or not to get married.  $60k over 6 years is not a trivial sum of money but it's also not the end of the world.  The point is, as a married couple, you'll be facing that together, not separately - for better or for worse.

For all those people saying that being together as two individuals is the same as being married, I'd argue that it's not.  That piece of paper is worth something in the eyes of the state.  I get the fact that it's cheaper for OP to stay un-married on paper and married together spiritually, mentally and emotionally but it's a bit of a fraud that OP is perpetrating for financial purposes only (assuming that OP tells other people that they are married and not being married to save money on taxes).  OP is not married in the eyes of the state.

And if having a marriage certificate doesn't matter, then why did gay couples fight so hard and for so long for that right?

OP, live your values.  If you love your spouse, marry her/him and make it official so that the world knows, the government knows and everyone else.  If you live long enough, you'll see that money comes and goes.  You don't get to sign a marriage certificate and the associated commitments but maybe once in your life (for some twice or thrice).  Don't make the most intimate and important decision of your life based on a few thousand dollars and a tax code.

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