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[quote=Anonymous]Do not throw away what you have.  I had a "deep love" marriage for 20 years.  It was intense.  We both believed we were each other's soulmates.  We never argued, held hands every day, great sex life, and we're best friends fiends.  It was so great we waited 7 years to have kids because we were just so happy, the two of us, that we wanted to extend that.  Maybe in some level we knew kids would hurt our dynamic.

Well.... we had two kids.  Husband was always jealous of my love and time I spent with the kids.  He even admitted it.  He knew it was immature and ridiculous, but it's how he felt.  We carved out time for just us, and I reassured him that the dynamic would ease as the kids got older and more self sufficient.  But alas....  he immersed himself in work more and more, started traveling more and more, and ultimately had an affair with his married coworker (she had 3 young kids of her own).

I imagine it's easy to feel deeply and intensely in love when it's just the two of you, on airplanes, in hotels, at restaurants, free of children, spouses pestering you to stop at the grocery store or pick up your darn socks.

Long story short...  divorce.  I was devastated for two years.  Even now, when I'm dating, I feel NOTHING for the men I date.  Even the awesome ones.

Shockingly, things didn't work out with the coworker, as I guess things weren't so perfect after the S hit the fan and both families blew up.

So moral of my story is .... don't blow up something great in pursuit of something you think is better.  It isn't always better.  I'd take a loving, stable, mature man with awesome coping skills over that intense love any day.  I'd probably still have an intact family if I had.  [/quote]

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