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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my sympathies, and also just a voice from the other side.

My son was VERY much like yours, with very similar pre-school dynamics and a core sweetness and desire to be (and do) good - as most kids have.

What saved me was learning how to parent him very differently than most of my instincts taught me.  I learned by meeting w/ a psychologist who is fantastic w/ moms, reading Kazdin and Ross Greene, and tons of modifying of my own behaviors.

Tons of positive reinforcing of the behaviors you want, incentivizing behaviors to develop good habits, lots of reading and talking about how to handle emotions (we have a large library of kids books about emotions), time in - child directed one on one time, lots of exercise to achieve physical exhaustion before attempting too much hard thinking, good sleep, solid patterns and structure to the day, etc...

My child is almost 7 now and we are leap years from where we were.  Still challenging, still occasionally leaving me feeling inadequate and exhausted, but nowhere near where we were at 4 and 5.  So there is hope. (And my son has no diagnosis, has done quite well in school, etc...)

Hang in there.  Whether you get a diagnosis for your son or not there will almost certainly be cognitive behavior type work that you have to do as a parent so you might as well start on that while waiting to see an expert.

Hugs.  It can and almost certainly will get better.  Your son is lucky to have you and you will figure it out.[/quote]

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