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[quote=Anonymous]OP, this is such a cliche.  Get a copy of "Not Just Friends."  Read it.  Your situation is not unique... it's as simple as 1+1 = 2.  This happens all the time.  There is nothing special about your coworker.

This is why Mike Pence won't meet with women alone without his wife present.  Yes, he's a tool and it's an absurd overreaction and speaks more to his apparent  inability to trust himself to behave like a decent human.

The reality is that you spend more waking hours with your coworkers than your wife.  You have an entir life with these people that your wife isn't a part of... it may start with a few private inside jokes, and before you know it there's some fun flirting.  And what married guy isn't flattered when someone flirts with him???

Your wife can't compete with the forbidden naughtiness of  a work wife.

The coworker leaning on you for emotional support is inappropriate.  Full stop.  I'm sure it makes you feel strong and masculine and protective of her....  in a way your wife can't, when she tells you to pick up your damn socks for the hundredth time.

Phrases like "no one can understand the emotional strain we are under" indicates the two of you have built a private little world of emotional intimacy.

Do your wife a favor.  If you ever loved her, even for a hot minute, confess that this is an issue.  Confessing takes the fun out it.  It also reduces the chances that you will escalate things.

And you need to take your work wife for a walk in public and tell her under no uncertain terms that the two of you have gotten too close, you aren't ok with it, and that you are going to take a step back and keep things strictly professional.

Act like an adult with some freaking control over your behavior and choices.  [/quote]

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