Reply to If you are only comfortable having sex in an exclusive relationship.....

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I find that people in general in the DC metro area - both men and women - are more open to having sex casually as (1.) we get older and (2.) post-divorce. Sex is no longer the "big special act" and we are accustomed to regular frequency.

That said, you can really only pull this off at your age if you're very attractive or just have the "je ne sais quoi" magnetic personality that drives men wild. I'd only agree to these terms if I was absolutely nuts about you.

If you're middling in the looks department and/or just a normal boring DC professional, good luck with your demands. But I think you'll find more men getting bored with you rather quickly without a physical element to the budding relationship.[/quote]

Op here. There is a physical element - basically everything but sex. I just want to know we are exclusive, and that the guy's profiles are down, and he isn't sleeping with anyone else, if we are dating and having sex. ANd that we aren't just seeing each other a few times a month and having sex but rather see each other more regularly. Basically, I want the guy I am having sex with to be and act like my boyfriend. Is that really asking too much? Which of those terms do you have issues with - do you want to be able to sleep with multiple people?[/quote]

I'm not divorced, but a number of my good friends are recent divorcees (we are all early 30s to early 40s). I think for those men coming out of a divorce within the past 3 years or so, they are not ready to settle down into a new relationship so quickly. My divorced male buddies are playing the field, enjoying their money and independence, and just generally loving the single life. A lot of them have refocused intensely on their jobs and traveling. The only way I see them getting into an exclusive relationship is if they are head-over-heels for a woman, so she needs to be bringing something amazing into their lives.

My divorced female friends are ALL ready to get exclusive with someone immediately post-divorce. Men and women in their 30s-40s treat divorce very differently, IMHO. On the other hand, my mom divorced my dad in their 50s after 25 years of marriage. She has ZERO desire to ever get married again.

I think you need to be strategic and avoid guys who have been divorced for less than 3 years. They have zero desire to commit. You may need to look to an older divorced man in his mid or late 40s, as they will have had their single fun and will be ready to commit since they are now taking a longer view of life.[/quote]

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