Reply to Separated for 2yrs—going from 50/50 to me being primary

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Reply to "Separated for 2yrs—going from 50/50 to me being primary"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You sound selfish to restrict his parental rights.  Damage control is to be honest and say you don't think they should have a relationship anymore with Dad and Dad's only duty is to pay child support.[/quote]

Did you even read the OP? She said the dad wants to move. And if a court granted her primary custody, then something must be wrong with the dad. 50/50 is the norm. [/quote]

He can have summers and weekends.  They can share legal custody so they both make the decisions for the kids.  50/50 isn't the norm even though it should be.[/quote]

He will get some of the summer and every other weekend but he is moving two counties away and has substance abuse issues.  However, he really wanted to make 50/50 work despite being 1.5hr away — this wasn’t possible.  I want to be there to tell them with him because I think we are normally good coparents and presenting a united front is best but he is angry and doesn’t want me included.  I don’t know what he is going to say.[/quote]

OK, so here's the thing: while you might be upset that he is going to do this thing without them, he is upset that you took away all his parental rights (when you asked for full legal custody). What you did is a shitty thing. Now, I don't know about the circumstances, but he has a right to feel angry and upset about that.

You might feel like it is hard to not have control over this important conversation he is having, he no longer has control over any decisions in his kids' lives. If you had really wanted to co-parent, you would have sought full physical custody but not legal custody. You don't get to be upset now that he wants to exclude you when you have so clearly decided to exclude him.[/quote]

In other words, you feel that she ought to carry 100% of the physical parenting and caretaking load while ceding 50% of decision-making powers to him?

He decided to remove himself from the kids' lives when he opted to move away.  He could have stayed and continued with the 50/50 arrangement they had.[/quote]

Moving 90 minutes away in this area is not a big deal.  Many people do that commute for all the time for work.  Mom's move away with the kids all the time and that is ok?  Maybe he was moving for a good reason like closer to his work or cost of living cheaper.[/quote]

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